After about fifteen years of dating – what do I know?  I'll be honest - not a damn thing.  I am not a dating expert.  I am not a love guru.  I don't even know what a guru is, but I'm not one.  I am not a psychologist or a sociologist or anything in the PhD family.  I am not one of those girls who read "The Rules" and weaves the perfect web to catch a husband.  I am not devoutly religious, socially awkward, or considered romantically hopeless but any of my close friends.  I am not engaged or married.   I am not in a relationship.  What I am – is single.  I am single and one of 8 million people living just 20 square miles from each other.  The dating possibilities are endless.

So maybe I meet a lot of men.  Not my fault - when you are young and single in New York, that's what happens.  I meet men everywhere I go - on the street, on the subway, and on line at Starbucks.  I have been yelled at and whistled at.  Once, I was purred at.  The purring came from a robust construction worker.  (I was a bit disappointed.  I expected more from a man holding such a large hammer.)  The men are all different.  Some are men in suits with impeccably shiny shoes and hair that does not move in rain or wind or any inclement weather.  Some are rich older men with white frosted hair stare at me from a distance and hand me their business cards that reveal they own a few hotels.  Some are younger men who frequent sports bars in polo shirts.  They'll try a classic pick up like: aren't I that blond girl from that TV show that got cancelled?  Nope, sorry, wrong girl.  Most of them seem nice.  Most of them act normal.  Most of them eventually ask the inevitable question: want to go out sometime?

I've gone on many quote / unquote "traditional" kind of dates.  The dinner dates at Italian restaurants with dim lighting and bottles of wine I can't pronounce.  The awkward movie dates spending two hours in the dark not talking and munching on buttery popcorn. The ambiguous non-date dates where he suggested we get cupcakes and go for a walk.  Seriously?  Um, Okay.  I have met for coffee.  I have met for drinks.  I have even met at The Met and discussed the suggestive paintbrush of Georgia O'Keefe. I have just gone on a lot of dates.

All the dating and I have certainly learned some insightful tips.  To survive a date, I come prepared with three things.  $20 for cab fare home.  One great headline from the New York Times to jump start conversation.  And my favorite no-fail, sweater dress / boot outfit that is effortlessly chic without making me look like a Pretty Woman.  (That's a reference to the Julia Roberts movie where she plays a hooker if you didn't get it.  I am not a hooker.)

But - just to clarify - I am not a dating expert.  I am just a single girl with a honest, self-deprecating sense of humor and hopefulness that one day – I will meet a nice boy.  Until then, I will be writing my gems of wisdom gathered from all my ill fated experience in this column:  The Top Five.  Enjoy.

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