It happened about a month ago. I was walking home, talking on my tiny pink cell phone, when a man stopped me on the corner of 73rd and Second Avenue and asked, “Do you have a boyfriend?”

I stopped out of sheer surprise. Shock even. I told my mom I'd have to call her back and said to him, “Seriously?"

The man complimented me, introduced himself, and asked if I would like to have drink with him. Again I said, "Seriously?" Then I politely thanked him and kept walking. Quickly.

That night I googled the "number of single men in nyc." What I was looking for was a number – a census statistic – an estimate at my odds of meeting someone nice in this town. Instead I found that there are 210,000 more single women than men. I found many helpful articles on where to find single men – a sort of Where’s Waldo for eligible bachelors. And of course, I found craigslist postings from women who seemed, well, somewhat desperate. Are the single men in this city becoming extinct? How do we know who is dateable and who isn't? Luckily, I’ve narrowed it down for you. Here’s the Top Five Men Not to Date in NYC:

1) The Investment Banker

His suits are Armani and his corporate credit card is platinum – there's no denying that the investment banker looks good on paper. You will find him traveling in packs of three or more, strolling down Park Avenue or Wall Street with a venti triple latte in hand. Charming, handsome, and assertive, he has mastered the art of ‘closing the deal.’ No two things excite him more than golf and the stock market. But with long hours of work and playboy tendencies, you may be no more than just another girl he'd like to merge with.

2) The Abercrombie Model

Oh, looks can be deceiving. Of course he is attractive. He's a 6'1 Adonis with bronzed, chiseled features and rows of white pearly teeth. His current gig is being that guy standing outside Abercrombie & Fitch on 5th avenue wearing a man tank top. He shares a loft with four other hopeful Zoolanders, works out for 3 + hours a day, and will only drink Light beer. On the first few dates, he opens up about his childhood growing up on a farm in Wisconsin and being a child model for Wal-mart. This may seem sentimental / sweet. But after two hour long soliloquies, you'll realize he is an egocentric narcissist whose favorite topic is himself. Even Blue Steel gets old after a while.

3) The Starving Artist

Take your pick: actor, musician, or filmmaker. In college, they were known for being unconventional and smoking copious amounts of natural substances. Now many of them are unemployed and selling the same substances. You will find the artist scattered through the outskirts of Brooklyn, the east village, and on the L train. He refers to his tiny roach infested studio as "bohemian" and barely supports himself as a Starbucks barista (hey at least he has health insurance!). You suspect the skinny jeans that he wears to be girl jeans. And you are right. Expect to pay for every meal and more until his big break comes on Utube.

4) The Guido

The good news is the Guido is easily distinguishable. With his immaculate eye brows, spiked hair, and an Oompa-Loompa glow, he can be spotted all the way from Long Island or Jersey. He lives with his parents but will take the train into the city each Friday night. He will waste no time in heading to Webster Hall to listen to trance music and hit on every girl in a skirt. If you wear a skirt, he will hit on you. If you leave, you will hit on your friend. If you come back, he will hit on you both and only stop when you walk away from him. Quickly. He uses (and believes in) pickup lines. Unless you like a guy to steal your hair gel, say no to the Guido.

5) The Trust Fund Kid

Within minutes of meeting him, he’ll tell you smugly that his grandfather donated a wing to thh Met. At restaurants – he orders verbatim "their finest bottle of rosé." At his aunt and uncle’s holiday cocktail party in their Central Park West penthouse – you’ll be mistaken as a cocktail waitress. He won’t defend you and you’ll be forced to carry empty champagne glasses all evening. You'll never feel like you're good enough for his upper crust lifestyle. Worse, his mother won’t either. And it is his mother’s opinion that will trump everyone else’s. Did I mention that his grandfather played golf with Donald Trump? Unless the page six gossip impresses you, let the trust fund kid find a trophy wife.

---

Add this page to your favorite Social Bookmarking websites