First, it was a line heard on a very sexy TV show. Then, it became a book. Now, it's a movie out on DVD. "He's Just Not That Into You." But what does it mean exactly? It's the simple, straightforward message that seems obvious: actions speak louder than words. If he didn't call you. If he didn't kiss you. If you never see him again. The fact is he's just not into you.

I've never read the book. But not gonna lie, I was curious about it. I picked up a copy once in LaGaurdia during a two hour flight delay. Reading the table of contents made my IQ drop a couple hundred points.
It's like Dating for Dummies. Of course if he sleeps with another girl he's just not into me. I don't need a goddamn book to tell me that!

With guys, it's either black or white. He likes you or he doesn't. And if he likes you, you know it. There's no over-analytical emotional baggage. But with girls, there can be a gray area. Recently, I found myself in dating limbo. Yes, I liked him and yes, we had fun, but did I want him as a boyfriend? I just didn't know. SoI made a pros and cons list. Yes, it sounds very fifth grade of me, but it worked. My conclusion - the Top Five: Reasons You're Just Not That into Him.

1) He proved that chivalry is not only dead, he may have killed it

I don't need much. I don't need to be wined and dined. I don't need roses or diamonds or chocolates. But I would like to be treated like a frickin lady. Open the door. Tell me I look nice. Take me on a date. A "date" is not spending Saturday night watching Doogie Howser re-runs on a dirty futon while he eats cold pizza in his boxers. A "date" is not an invitation to meet for drinks where he arrives 20 minutes late and keeps ordering beer on my tab because "it's, like, already open." A "date" is not a text message at 3:31 AM asking if I wanna meet up.

2) He spends more time in the world of Facebook than in the real one

Of course, it's addicting. Sending your friends Obama buttons and writing provocative wall posts and displaying slightly obscene photos. But when your entire life revolves around Facebook - the question comes to mind do you have a life? I am into a guy who reads the Times, knows about the economic recession, and is excited about the new Yankee stadium. I am not into a guy whose only interest is updating his Facebook status every hour of every day. There's a solution to this ...it's called Ritalin.

3) He likes to share in detail his "best hookup ever" stories

Yes, we've all had that one crazy night in London / Australia / Greece with the exotic, irresistable Brit / Aussie / Greek. One thing led to another and we now can say certain phrases that are not taught in the college foreign language curriculum. It's alright to look back on those nights. It's not alright to obsess over them to the girl (me) you are currently dating. It is really not alright to show me pictures. Whatever happens in Vegas ... should stay in Vegas.

4) He has the maturity level of a chimpanzee

They say that women mature faster than men. Supposedly, the difference is three years. So a 23-year-old man thinks and acts like a 20-year-old boy. Translation: he likes to get drunk / get laid. One night, me and the boy were walking home after a date and after a fresh snowfall. He stopped suddenly to draw a picture on a snowy car windshield. What did he draw? A penis. And not just one, he drew lots of them. He drew them on every car we passed. For a chimpanzee, this would be genius. For a 23-year-old, it is just juvenile.

5) He is just too into himself

Confidence is a tricky thing. Too little and you're awkward. Too much and you're annoying. When a boy asks a girl to be his girlfriend, he should not start by listing all the things about him that make him awesome. He should not talk about all the other girls he's dating. He should not talk about how much those other girls are into him. This does not make him seem more desirable. And I, likewise, will not mention the other guys that I am dating. But, if we are both dating other people ... isn't it sort of obvious - we are just not that into each other?

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