I wanted to kick this week off with whom NOT to choose as a mate.  If you find yourself thinking that you are in a relationship with, are semi-dating or even that you have a date lined up with a person exemplified in the descriptions below…run away quickly!  These people should not be in your e-mail address book, cel contacts list or even on a post-it tucked away in the black abyss of your back-up wallet that your mom gave you. You know the wallet, the one that’s just not your style.  Anyway, I’m getting off topic.  If these people are on your dating radar, do like Lonestar did in Spaceballs and jam that sucker.  If you see some of the below behavior being demonstrated by one of your friends, do them a favor and send them a link to this post.  They’ll thank you for it, when they get a second date.

Men to avoid like the plague...

1.Mr. Brush his shoulders off - In honor of the best album out right now, I dedicate this type of man to your boy Jay-Z.  Not because he is one of these, but because his old song about giving oneself a newly designed pat on the back is a little ego-maniacal, and so are the men I’m about to describe.  This guy is all about boring you to tears with how much money he makes, what kind of car he drives and why he is the ultimate “catch.”  What he doesn’t know is that most of you don’t give a rats behind about all that.  He might not really believe he is the best at everything on this green earth, but he’ll sure try to convince you that he is.  Even his friends can’t stand his ass, and proceed to give him the side eye when he looks away.  Do the same, and walk away girl…just walk away.

2.Desperado - Antonio Banderas, he is not.  I call this guy Desperado well, because he’s as desperate as they come.  He’ll call you just to tell you how beautiful you are, call you to ask you what you’re doing for lunch, call you to ask if you’d like to get a bite with him right after work.  When you say no, he’ll just keep asking for more dates.  And trust me, I’m not saying that flattery and attention are not wanted, but damn can you get a minute to breathe without his constant interruptions.  Get a life dude!  You’ll be more attractive if you pretend to have one of your own.

3.I’m hot and your not - Yes, I got this title from every suburban girl’s favorite nerdy witch, Teen Witch.  Everyone knows this guy because though he is good looking, he knows it and it actually has the reverse affect…he becomes ugly by conceit.  You’ll know him by his constant habit of calling you last minute to break a date you’ve had for a week, and trying to hit on all of your cute friends when you go to the bathroom.  Another common trait is his glancing at himself in the mirror twenty times more a day than you would, taking way too long to get ready and (for my jersey girls) the dreaded fake tan... ahhhh!!!

Come back next week for the ladies to stay away from, especially you men with stalkers.  I got some mind blowing advice for you.

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