Ever heard of the secret? No, not that book that everyone in the world has read. The secret I’m talking about is the secret relationship. The one where no one knows that you guys are bed buddies, so when you go out in public you pretend like you’re not there together. Then you meet up at his house after the bar, get it on, go home the next morning and pretend like you got your shit together, rinse and repeat. Sad. There are pros and cons to the secret relationship though, so for those of you who find yourselves in this predicament, weigh your options. Some pros may be the exciting stealth of it all, and the “we shouldn’t be doing this” sex appeal. But happiness is key so if you’re not happy with the hush-hush situation, find yourself another person and quick, before you start feeling something! There are different reasons why your covert lover doesn’t want to come out of the closet with you. Here are some you might want to face...

The Non-Committal- So he won’t tell his friends about you, yet he’s introduced you to his family. This is a tough one, but my third eye (don’t ask) tells me that he’s afraid of something. He can’t be embarrassed of you, or else he wouldn’t have bothered to go out in public with you and his loved ones. His excuse for not making it official, “I’ve been hurt in the past.” Yet he calls you every day, and doesn’t seem jealous when you talk about other guys. I’d venture to say, he is one of those commit-a-phobes. He obviously doesn’t want to commit to you for one reason or the other, but being hurt in the past is probably not the only reason. My advice: talk to him about how you feel. If he doesn’t feel the same way, hit the road Jack. If he is really into you, he’ll make the sacrifice and call you sooner or later.

The Taken- Ever wonder why she only wants to hang out by your house, and will introduce you to all of her friends, yet never to her family? The polar opposite of Mr. Don’t-Wannabe-Yo-Man above, is the tempting Ms. Already-Have-A-Man. Sure she calls you during office hours, and visits you late nights on the weekends, but don’t let her fool you. That’s only when her man is in Atlantic City with his poker buddies, or when she’s pissed off enough to seek revenge. She might claim it’s over, but why the secrecy and why haven’t you ever seen where she lives? My advice: don’t be her tool boy. This type of girl is very interested in seeing men swoon over her, yet does little to boost your ego. Let’s face it, you have needs too, and no matter how cool you try to play it, she is using you as a distraction from her boring love life. Get a girl without the drama; you’ll thank me for it

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