I may have missed the boat on this one, but I couldn’t let Halloween go by without acknowledging how fortunate single New Yorkers need to be about this holiest of holy holidays. Sure, it’s not really about religious beliefs, so when I say holy I just mean that for a single person, Halloween should be considered sacred. Not only do women lose some of their usual inhibitions, along with most of their clothes, but it’s also open season for single men to stare at whatever body part they like. Guys get to use the excuse that they’re checking out your costume…yeah, sure ya are buddy. And the girls get to strut their stuff, slut style, without actually being arrested for prostitution. What a day!

And in the spirit of this seasons disguises, here’s a fun list of what to dress up as in order to attract the opposite sex, or the same sex if that’s what you’re into. Basically, Halloween = sex, so enjoy it ya pervs!

Hooker - “Look at me, I’m Jaime Lee Curtis from Trading Places.” What better excuse is there to dress like an actual hooker on Halloween? Ladies, hike up your mini & bring out the fishnets you bought last year at Pleasure-R-us, they finally get to see the light.

Hooters girl - Fake plastic Party City boobs, check. Tiny orange shorts, check. Dates lined up for the entire month of November…CHECK!

Catholic school girl - So you wanna attract a guy with a thing for Britney Spears circa 1998? Well this is the costume for you. Ask your Catholic friends if they still have their high school uniform, the smaller the better. Don’t forget the pigtails!

80’s girl - Raid your older sisters closet for those lace Madonna-esque gloves that you always wanted to borrow, and resurrect that tight hot pink skirt you can’t seem to throw out. Who cares if you look like a fake Cindy Lauper, the fellas won’t mind as long as you wear it right.

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